Andy and I went through a lot of different ideas on what we wanted to do. After a few months we both agreed that eloping to the rainforest was the most agreeable plan… but then I spent a few days with Andy’s mum in January, and started seriously second guessing myself. We changed dates and plans about a million times, but finally, six months after getting engaged, we made a final decision. Instead of eloping, we are having a small, private ceremony in the rainforest… a year from now. We were trying for this year, but I realised my PhD is my first priority, and I don’t have the brain capacity to think about both things right now.
So, next June my parents will come over from the US and Andy’s parents will come up from New South Wales. We’ll all congregate in the Daintree Rainforest, which is a 135 million+ year old rainforest about 5 hours north of Townsville. It is literally a relic of Gondwanaland. Andy and I will stay at the Daintree Eco Lodge, a low-impact but super swish resort in the jungle--we get a jacuzzi on our balcony!
That is also where we will have our ceremony, and dinner afterwards (when asked if they can cater for an entirely vegan meal, as well as daily breakfasts, they said “of course”). I nearly wrote off the concept of resort wedding packages, but this one works out to be cheaper than doing things ourselves, and it is still very personalisable. Plus, look how pretty.
The ceremony will incorporate rituals we like the idea of while rejecting things we think are lame. We’re avoiding anything that implies that two people “become one” when they are married—we both intend to stay separate individuals well into the future. We’re avoiding such patriarchal relics as the “giving away” of the bride. And we’re also avoiding shoes.
We’re also trying to avoid excessive consumption. The easiest way to do this is to have virtually no guests. There are no expectations of wedding favours, or gifts, or place cards, or invitations. We’ll try to DIY whatever we can, and whenever possible farm things out to our highly skilled friends. For instance, I have a friend who designs and makes clothing, so I’ve asked her to design a dress for me. I’ve been looking into eco-friendly fabrics for the dress as well.
Since it’s still so far away, we haven’t really done much planning. Like I said, I’m focusing on my PhD for now. I don’t expect to have that much planning to do ever, though, since we’ve consciously chosen the most low-key option that suits our relationship, our individual personalities, and our values.